Random list of prompts saved on my computer: Five things that irritate me about the opposite sex, five things that irritate me about the same sex.
[Disclaimer: I’m not making sweeping generalizations. I’m making observations about the males/females I’ve encountered recently.]
1. Social perception/filter. This is mostly about the guys I end up around when I’m back with my high school friends. There’s some seventeen year old kid who hangs out with my girlfriends’ friends back in my hometown. I have no idea how he began hanging out with a dozen or so deadbeats in their early twenties instead of, you know, peers, but I don’t care. Within five minutes of meeting me, he was asking me about the scar on my sternum. He didn’t remember my name, but he somehow felt that “You’re flawed, why is that?” would be an appropriate conversation to have.
2. Kindness = romantic/sexual attraction. Maybe this one is partially my fault- I’m generally terrible with flirting, so the only males I’m able to joke and talk with are the ones I am uninterested in. Both love letters I received in high school were indications of this phenomenon on the romantic side, while the small list of college males who have attempted to make out with me after (what I believed was) a wonderful, intellectually stimulating conversation suggest that this works with general horniness as well. If you’re talking to me and I am responding enthusiastically, I’m simply enjoying the conversation. If we’re talking in class every day, I think you’re interesting. I probably do not want to date/fuck you. Sorry for the ambiguity of my actions.
3. Demeaning chivalry. Sure, holding doors open for people is polite regardless of gender, but if you offer to help me by talking to people or making decisions on my behalf, it’s not okay. Underestimating my intellectual capabilities is never okay.
4. Effort necessary for male attractiveness. Oh, so “I ran out of shampoo a week ago and I just woke up” can pass for stylish hair? You get to wear the same suit to most formal occasions? Your face just looks like that when you wake up? My hair products, dresses, and makeup hold up their many middle fingers to you all.
5. [May be highly inaccurate due to my limited sample population]. Confident, independent men turn into whiny, needy, eager-to-please children when they enter a relationship. If I like a guy, it’s probably because I believe he challenges me to continuously improve myself. Don’t become dependent just because we’re sharing our feelings now.
1. Inability to communicate with clarity in a relationship. I know you’re irrationally angry about the fact that your boyfriend is sitting next to another female while they watch a movie. Will you tell him? No. Will you get over it? Absolutely not. You’ll just let it sit. And fester. And you’ll treat him like shit and just hope he connects the dots. He won’t because THERE IS NO CONNECTION YOU IDIOT.
2. The events that built up to the big fight with your boyfriend may be his fault, but you were probably wrong to begin with. Admit defeat sometimes. It’s a timesaver.
3. Selective feminism. You want to earn as much as him, but you still want him to buy you everything because you’re having sex with him? Pick a side.
4. Thinking that our gender makes it okay to act fragile. I suppose this goes along with the notion of selective feminism, but I see it all the time in my sorority and I can’t stand it. Our house is essentially a glorified residence hall. Girls should be able to handle having males in the house. They should also be able to hear the word “cunt” without acting like their ears are too delicate for crude language.
5. Expecting every other female to be on your side when you argue with your significant other. I’m terrible at “girl talk” for this reason. If you overreacted or if there is shared blame for a mishap, you should be told.