BEDA 2012 Day 3: I promise I’m not an asshole

I seem to go through my day thinking of interesting and engaging things to write about here, but I get back to my room and it’s all gone. ANYWAY. This blog comes to you in two parts.

First part: I am awful at acting casual. This isn’t a response to something that happened today, but more of a recent observation of my behaviour in a few different situations over the last few years. Every time I get nervous about seeming nervous, I overcompensate by, like, cursing too much. Because everyone knows that people who curse aren’t nervous or self conscious. Or something. Recent example:

I met John Green. There was context to this, but literally the first thing I said to my favorite author was “I promise I’m not actually an asshole.” I could’ve thanked him for getting me back into reading, told him I was glad he came to Europe because I missed the Tour de Nerdfighting California stop back in January on account of me not living in California at the present, voiced my enthusiastic agreement with all of his comments on how baffling the Dutch language is. But no, “I’m not an asshole.”. Admittedly I did have a short laugh with him about An Abundance of Katherines, so I can now say that my favorite author once apologized to me for, and I quote, being “such a dick to your name.”

Not so recent example: the time when I said “hella bitches” for the first and last time while my friend and I picked up his ten year old stepbrother from elementary school.

Part two: ten very specific things I have longed for in brief periods of homesickness.

1. An egg beater omelette with country potatoes from Latif’s.

2. Making study guides for exams.

3. My many plastic drawers. Specifically, the medication drawer and the drawer with folders full of assignments from each of my classes.

4. The way I sat in my bedroom so I could browse the internet and watch TV simultaneously (and change the channel with my toe).

5. Shopping at Raley’s

6. That curve along the highway to my sister’s house where my car starts having trouble going uphill.

7. The spinney chairs, specifically in my 181 classroom. I was in front, but all the way on one side, so I never sat straight forward.

8. The guy with the Weird Al-esque curly hair who seemed to enjoy sitting in Peet’s just as much as I did.

9. Singing in my car

10. A lot of driving, really. I don’t take buses here because they’re slower and sometimes kind of yucky, so my concept of traveling through space is completely gone. I no longer have the sensation of approaching a destination. I just sit and it gets dark, then light, then dark, then light a few more times, and I emerge across the street from work.


About Katherine

Ravenclaw, INTJ, and a bit whiney.
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