Really? Did I seriously just have my last class of my undergraduate career today? I mean, I totally did, but I’m still so confused. It felt so normal(well, as normal as a drop in class with three students in attendance can be). I miss the last days of high school, when kids celebrated on their way to the parking lot after the last bell. Where, even if you were shy and weren’t actively participating, at least you knew something important had just happened.
I decided about a year and a half ago that I was going to study abroad in the final semester of my senior year and I have been completely okay with the fact that I wasn’t going to walk in graduation. I always said that I’m not one for big ceremonies(which I’m not) so it’ll be a more normal-feeling transition for me if I just stop going to college and start working. But maybe I was wrong. I’m still not one for big ceremonies, but even though I scoffed at all those kids celebrating in the hallway on the last days of school (“Come on, it’s just a Friday”), I think I became used to their presence.
Even if I don’t like the ceremonies, I think I just want to be there to not-like them in person. I know that my decision to study abroad generally trumps whatever I miss back in the states, but now it’s just a little sad that I don’t get to complain about our awful commencement speaker, or whine about wearing black polyester on what is sure to be the hottest day in May, or take uncomfortable photos with every member of my immediate family. Let’s not even get started on how hellish it would be to try to pin a graduation cap on my massive head. But, like, that’s what is supposed to happen and I’m just skipping the whole thing. I just wonder what I’ll look back on and consider the “end” of my college career in the absence of graduation day.
Currently, my graduation day has one of two alternative plans: going to Canterbury with the Westminster touring group I went to York, Bath, Stonehenge, etc. with, or going to a big music festival in Zwolle with my Dutch friends. Actually this reminds me of high school(WHOA stream of consciousness blogging), where I went to my sister’s college and partied with her friends instead of going to my senior prom. Maybe that’s my thing. I’ll remember where I was when I was supposed to be graduating, or going to prom, or… what else can I do this with in life? instead of actually being there. I guess it makes for a more unique story.