BEDAFAIL 2012: Be grateful for America

Be grateful for America.

Be grateful for Starbucks, where your tea can come iced, your lattes can come skinny, and your barista understands “triple grande skinny caramel latte, no foam” no matter how quickly you say it.

Be grateful for Splenda because it’s everywhere and because seriously, Costa Coffee, no one even likes Sweet N Low.

Be grateful for Target on those days when you need tampons, earrings, dinner, and a curtain rod and you just cannot be bothered to go to four different stores.

Be grateful for new buildings. They might not have grand histories and they were probably built in the 1980s so let’s face it, they’re hideous, but at least they adhere to modern accessibility codes. Human beings can fit in the bathroom stalls and if you need to get your heavy suitcases to the second floor, you can usually take the elevator.

Be grateful for your entire shelves with dozens of varieties of a single product. When I want detergent, I want Tide HE Sport with Fresh Linen scent, not “that one on the shelf in Tesco.”

Be grateful for granola bars of all flavors, sizes, and protein levels.

Be grateful for nutrition facts with serving sizes you can measure. I have no idea how much 100 grams of soup is.

Be grateful for potable water coming out of all the taps, not just ones in kitchens (sorry, environment).

Be grateful for lawyers who wear suits and ties, not robes and wigs, because they understand that it’s 2012.

Be grateful for your production studios and for the fact that you’ve rarely, if ever, encountered a “This content is not available in your country” notice on a website.

Be grateful for the wild consumerism that makes for amazing commercials.

Be grateful for a grading system where “doing 100% of what was asked” earns you a 100%, not a 70.

Be grateful for your sunny California summers and for your vast countryside that just begs for road trips.

America isn’t perfect in any way, but it’s still pretty cool. Be grateful for weird, gigantic, fantastic America.

America, you’re awesome. Sorry I didn’t appreciate you for so many years. I’ll see you soon.

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About Katherine

Ravenclaw, INTJ, and a bit whiney.
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