BEDAFAIL 2012: Get it together, America

Would it be so hard to mark foods “vegeterian friendly” on the back? Would it?

“Mind the gap” makes substantially more sense than “watch the gap.” You’re supposed to be mindful of the gap as you step over it. Watch that gap too closely and your head’s getting clipped by the oncoming train.

Chips in debit cards. I don’t understand them, but apparently they’re more secure and I’m sick of having cashiers literally hold up my debit card to compare it with my signature on the receipt before giving me my hummus.

Two story buses. They’re efficient.

Two story coffee shops. They just look so much nicer. Basements are cozy and second floors have good views.

Really? Big ol’ city like San Francisco and all it gets is literally one line of underground transport?

Speaking of public transport, let’s get back into trains. They have all the “seeing things” wonders of car travel without the “I need to be sober and alert so I can operate this safely” downsides of driving.

Get Rekorderlig cider. Now. I want to be drunk on this stuff every day until I fly back just so I can remember it in all its glory.

Get better fast food. Maybe if we had places like Pret a Manger and Eat, we’d be a little less inclined to eat triple scary cholesterol burgers with extra greasy fries for lunch.

We need some higher expectations of our quiz shows. I don’t want to see a hick ask an “ordinary” American lady inane questions about the useless information we learn over the course of our elementary school education. I want a well-respected writer, performer, and generally amazing human being (Stephen Fry) having highly entertaining discussions with genuinely intelligent people about genuinely fascinating information.

Sport coats. Every man in America, buy them. Wear regularly. Enjoy immediately increased attractiveness.

Weetabix. Biscoff. Butternut squash everything. Malteasers. British beer. Halloumi. Please and thank you.


About Katherine

Ravenclaw, INTJ, and a bit whiney.
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